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Technical Jokes
- Compaq is considering changing the command 'Press any key' to 'Press
Enter key' because of the flood of calls asking where is the 'Any' key.
- AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packed in !
- Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
The customer had stuck labels on the diskettes. then rolled them into
his typewriter to type on the labels.
- Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes.
A few days later. a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
- A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back
in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold
on, put the receiver next to the phone, crossed his room and closed
the door to his room.
- Another Del customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting. the tech discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of
the monitor screen and hitting the 'Send' key.
- Yet another Dell customer called to complain tat his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
water and soaked the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
and washing them individually.
- A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was engraged
because his computer had told him he was 'bad and invalid'. The tech
explained that the computer's 'bad' command and 'invalid' resoponses
shouldn't be taken personally.
- An exasperated caller to Dell computer Tech support couldn't get
her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on" this foot pedal
and nothing happened". The 'foot pedal' turned out to be the computer's
mouse.
- A confused caller to IBM told the technician that the computer had
said it 'couldn't find printer'. The user had tried turning the computer
screen to face the printer, but that his computer 'still' couldn't 'see'
the printer.
- Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new
computer wouldn't work. she said, she unpacked the unit, plugged it
in and sat there for 20 minutes, waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked 'what
power switch ? '
- True story from a Novel Netware SysOp:
caller: "Hello, Is this tech support ? "
Tech: "Yes, It is. How may I help you ?"
caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am withing my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed ?"
Tech: "Did you say a Cup holder ? "
caller: "Yes ! it is attached to the front of my computer"
Tech: "Please excuse me If I seem a bit stumped, It's because
I am. Did you received this as part of a promotional,
at a trade show ?"
caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about
a
promotional, It just has 4X on it."
At this point the tech rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand it He was laughing too high. The caller had been Using the load
drawer of CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
- Another IBM customer had troubles in installing software and rang
for support, "I put in the first disk and that was OK. It said
to put in the second disk and I had. Some problems with that disk when
It said put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in..." The
user hadn't realised that "Insert disk 2" meant to remove
disk 1 first.
Submissions
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Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.Programmers combine theory and practice : Nothing works and they don't know why. - by Yugesh Chindarkar Posted on 2007-02-07
You can use form below to submit Jokes,
They will appear with your name
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Nice jokes, havent heard these kind of jokes earlier.
thanks
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One of my friends inserted a flopy disk and was trying to eject it by right clicking on the flopy drive in My Computer( as we do for CD/DVD)
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Microsoft Tech support person receives a call from a customer : I got defective peice as whenever i type my password, it displays and everybody can see the same........... Tech guy after struggling hard realised that the customer was using the password as ****
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Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
--Steve McConnell Code Complete
Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.
--Steve McConnell Code Complete
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edser Dijkstra
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
--Alan J. Perlis
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
--Tom Cargill
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
--attributed to Norm Schryer
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.
--Eagleson's law
The primary duty of an exception handler is to get the error out of the lap of the programmer and into the surprised face of the user.
--Verity Stob
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.
--Alan Kay
Technology is dominated by two types of people: Programmers - Those who understand what they do not manage. Managers - Those who manage what they do not understand.
--Putt's Law
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One of my client called my up and started shouting there is virus in my PC. Virus is running here and there.. I asked what it is. she replied some thing like big honey bee.. Later when i reach at there place and found it was not a virus but a cursor theme which was like honey bee... Ha ha HA
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